If I lived in Torrance

This is the first time I'm actually thinking of what life might be like if I lived in Torrance. The whole concept of Torrance has been bound up with my family and parents for so long that it's been anathema to me. But I started thinking recently...

What if I could go back to Torrance in the Summers?

The thought is honestly a little disturbing, because the implications run so incredibly deep. I'd be a completely different person, I think, mostly in good ways, although there are some possibly serious drawbacks too. The idea of thinking about it makes me a little nervous, 'cuz if I explore it, I might end up wanting it.

There were all these people in Torrance that were always marginally friends-- people right on the verge of being solid friends but still mostly acquaintances. I kind of had 'friends all over the place,' nothing ever solid, but always drifting. I would've expected to cement those bonds and the kinds of friends I'd have now would have made me really different. I think I'm just going to go this far, and entertain the rest of the possibilities in my mind, because I don't know if I can go any further than that. But just think, I could've been someone else.

Ourobouros again, is it?

Again?

Really?

Aw, hell.